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Shepherds Hill Homestead » God's Plan for the Happy Home, Messages » God’s Plan for a Happy Home-Part V

God’s Plan for a Happy Home-Part V

Up until now we’ve examined the relationship of husbands and wives in the structure of the home. I would now like to examine scriptures regarding the children in the family. It is important for them to understand that their actions can cause strife in a home or can bring peace. Some people may be surprised to find out that God gives children rules to follow since younger children may not be old enough to understand. If they are too young to grasp the Bible it is the parent’s responsibility to train them so that they can understand. Let’s look at training children first and see what God says.

While some families may not be able to have children having them completes God’s perfect order. When God created the woman for Adam he told them to be fruitful and multiply. Malachi 2:15 says that God ordained marriage so that He might have Godly seed. Proverbs 22:6 tells us to train up a child in the way he should go and promises that when he is older he won’t leave those teachings. It seems like common sense to say this and yet so many parents don’t really train or raise their children. By that I am talking about society’s way to let “professionals” raise their children-not because they have no other choice but willingly because they don’t want to bother with them. When children are dropped off at day care and dropped off at church it’s no wonder that later in life they are off track according to God’s standards. I realize that some families need to have both parents working but God’s plan is best. Wives should be keepers at home (Titus 2)and husbands should be providers, making sure that their family has everything they need. We must train up our children proactively, not reactively.

It is not one parent’s responsibility to train them either. Both parents must take an active part in their children’s lives. We home schooled our children and for a while I coasted along with the “title” of principal. One day my gentle wife spoke to me about it and asked if I would teach some of the subjects in the evening when I got home from work. At first I was nervous about it but once I began teaching them I really enjoyed it. She gave me science to cover and we had a great time. Later I thought about their spiritual teaching and thus began our HomeChurch meetings. It’s that “thinking about it” that we all need to do.

Look again to Proverbs 22:6. The Hebrew wording in this phrase “train up a child in the way he should go” literally means to train them to nurse or to get them to eat what is wholesome. In the past five years our family has had seven grandchildren born. I have watched all of the young mothers focus on breast feeding their children. They literally were panicked at times when the babies wouldn’t nurse. There are other young mothers in the world who don’t want to nurse their babies and make plans to just stick a bottle in their mouth with whatever formula they buy at the store. The attitude difference here is comparative to parents who don’t want to take a part in their children’s lives. When they are born they automatically plan on putting them in daycare. Later when they need schooling they send them off to a public school. When the child asks a question the parents balk and tell them to ask someone else. They are so busy trying to be the friend to their son or daughter that they forget to be the parent. Your child will have plenty of friends-that is not your job! God placed you in their lives to be the parent. You need to give them an appetite for Godly virtues.

Before they are even born parents should be prepared to raise their children in harmony with each other and with God’s Word. Husbands and wives should discuss what will be allowed and what will not. Standards need to be established so that when the time comes they will both be on the same page. While I am on that subject let me say that parents should be ready to stand together no matter what comes up and never have dissention between you. As children grow older they pick up on any division between parents and will play one parent against the other to their own gain. Let’s suppose that the child wants to go out later than a curfew that has already been set. One parent feels that the child should be able to stay out as late as he or she pleases but the other one is adamant about strict limits. Those kinds of things should not be decided as they come up but before the subject arises. Husbands and wives must act like the adults that they are. There is no room for childish anger, jealousy or getting your feelings hurt when you are the parent. If your child gets mad and tells you he doesn’t love you don’t get upset-he is a kid! I sometimes see parents cave in because they were manipulated by a three-foot tall person. The correct response should be to calmly tell them that you love them anyway and that you know they really don’t mean it. In truth, the child did that in an attempt to get you to change your mind.

In Ephesians chapter six there are four verses that cover the relationship and responsibilities of children and fathers. It begins with the rule for children to obey their parents in the Lord. The phrase “in the Lord” is referring to the ones who are responsible for you. Of course this would be the ones you live with but it could also include someone else if they also have the responsibility over you. As an example if you go to your grandparents to visit they are responsible for you. Children, your parents must stand before God to give an account for you. You have been given to them to raise and if they fail to do it properly God will judge them for it. God says to obey your parents. There is one more thing that God requires of you. Verse two says that children should honor their parents. Honor here means to venerate, reverence and respect. There is a promise that goes along with this as well. God said that if you honor your parents your life will be blessed (that it may be well with you) and you will live a long and full life. That is a pretty good reason to honor your parents!

Let me stop here and ask you something. Is your life honoring to your parents? I’m not just talking to the young children at home but also to adults who have families of their own. Are you living in a manner that would honor your family name? As children we are to honor our father and mother.

The next verse speaks to fathers. We are told to make sure we don’t provoke our children to anger. Instead, we are to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Let’s broaden that to see exactly what Paul is saying here. The Greek word for “nurture” is given below:

  1. the whole training and education of children (which relates to the cultivation of mind and morals, and employs for this purpose now commands and admonitions, now reproof and punishment) It also includes the training and care of the body
    1. whatever in adults also cultivates the soul, esp. by correcting mistakes and curbing passions.

A -instruction which aims at increasing virtue

B -chastisement, chastening, (of the evils with which God visits men for their amendment)

In other words, God has declared that fathers make every effort to train up all aspects of their child’s life. It includes the chastisement (correction and discipline) of the children and requires of us to do it in love.

Fathers, we are told that we must not exasperate our children and provoke them to anger. Years ago I noticed a trend in my own life to just say no to every request from my children. I thought that it was easier to do that than to risk any thing they wanted to do. I realized later that I was saying no to everything and it was causing problems in the family. After that I made sure that I really did give it some thought and on things that I wasn’t sure of I gave them the benefit of the doubt. As children get older you must turn loose of the back of the bicycle and let them try and pedal on their own. If they fall, help them up and encourage them to try again. Parents, our goal is to build Godly adults who will handle life with strength of character and walk in righteousness.

Let’s think about the discipline mentioned in that verse. As always, God’s Word is all about balance. We can’t overly discipline them nor can we skip it altogether. We must not abuse children in any way but discipline must be given. I have watched parents who refuse to lay a hand on their children. Their excuse is that they have a better way to correct children than Mom and Dad had. They figure they will reason with them. God said that foolishness was bound in the heart of a child and that the rod of discipline will drive it far from them (Proverbs 22:15). He did not say that some children had foolishness nor did He say that there were multiple ways to get rid of it. Since He is our creator He knows the makeup of a man from childhood. If you want to see what happens when Fathers don’t discipline their children just look at the news.

Let me finish today by talking about family time. Life is so busy in our culture today that we barely have time to discuss anything. Television has turned family time into zombie time. Instead of families interacting at a meal they often eat in separate rooms of the house at separate times. Text messaging has replaced conversation. The problem with technologies is that they often separate instead of bring us closer. I would like to encourage you to try and do something as a family more often. Have meals together regularly. Instead of watching television so much I challenge you to play a board game or have an outdoor activity. Camping, hiking, fishing or biking together not only gives you fresh air but it gives your family a common activity to share in. Anything that you can do to share in conversation will improve the quality and harmony of your family.

Prayer-Father, help children to see their role in the unity of their family. Give fathers a vision for their families so that they may lead them into the role you have. May they bring Glory to Your name. I pray for families today who are struggling with dissension in them. Bring to mind the scriptures that will give them direction.

In Jesus’ Name-Amen

This message will be given live on Sunday morning at 10:45 CST at the link below and after we upload it will be recorded for viewing later. Also, you can view previous messages in this series here.



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Philippians 3:13-14 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Filed under: God's Plan for the Happy Home, Messages

2 Responses to "God’s Plan for a Happy Home-Part V"

  1. David Pierce says:

    Please do a series or a single talk on home church that you started for your children and continued to a family home church. I am fascinated with the concept of home church. What is the history of yours and the motivation and the approach to doing a home church. Big subject but many may find this a useful lesson.

    1. paul paul says:

      Thank you for writing. You’ve actually touched on my next message. Next week I am going to start a message on the church and will talk about this very subject.

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