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Shepherds Hill Homestead » God's Plan for the Happy Home, Messages » God’s Plan for a Happy Home-Part III

God’s Plan for a Happy Home-Part III

This is a continuation of a series I am doing on the family. I am going to give my standard disclaimer as I did on the other two parts before I begin. It does not matter if you believe the Bible or not or if you choose to ignore its teachings. You were created by Jehovah God and the institution of marriage was ordained by Him as one man and one woman. You will never find happiness in a relationship that does not go along with what He has established. While you may find temporary enjoyment in what you are doing it is only that-temporary. Ignoring the master plan from the Master Builder will lead to disaster. Following God’s Word will prove itself out to be truth. It has for thousands of years. The family was established before the first Covenant with man and is the foundation of life today. One reason that the world is getting more unstable today is that the family is unstable. My goal is to bring out these truths so that men and women may live happy lives in peaceful homes and produce Godly children for many generations to come.

As I said before in previous messages I present this from God and not from myself. You might examine my family under a magnifying glass and when you see flaws you could choose to turn a deaf ear to this message. I will say that everything that is right and working properly in my own family is because we have followed the Bible in those areas. So many people are looking for a reason to not listen to God’s Word and often look at fallible man. Let me reiterate that God’s Holy Bible is not fallible and when we really discover that fact we can overlook the messenger and really listen to the message. I pray that you will do that today.

In part two I covered the wife’s role in the family. I did this first because it is listed first in all passages relating to the family structure. Today, I am looking at the husband’s role and will use the same passages as I did in part two. Let’s begin with Ephesians chapter five. Beginning in verse twenty-five Paul outlines the responsibility of the man in the family. He said that husbands should love their wives. This is one of those statements that we, as men might skim over thinking we have it covered. I have talked with many men in marriage counseling who just didn’t understand what this is saying. What I mean by that is when I asked them if they had followed God’s Word they truly believed that they did. But, when I asked if they loved their wives with a self-sacrificing, life giving, totally laying down all of their desires kind of love they all look puzzled. If you continue reading that verse you will find that it says that men should love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. Men, what you and I should do is to find out just how much Christ loved the Church.

Jesus gave up His kingdom in Heaven and became a man to walk in flesh and suffer. He dedicated His earthly life to draw His Church to Him and He selflessly and continuously did whatever it took to minister to His flock. He tirelessly traveled to every area that needed Him and even went to places that other people mocked Him for. Every day of His life was totally devoted to His Bride, the Church. She was always on His mind no matter what He was doing. While Jesus did go away to rest we find in Scripture that He did it to pray for strength and to pray for His people. When His mission was complete and He had covered every area necessary He gave His life for the flock that was with Him, but also He died for those who would come afterward. In Hebrews 12:2 it says that “for the joy set before Him” He endured the cross. Even after that He did not stop working for us but He now sits at the right hand of the Father and makes intercession for His Bride. He has spent the past two-thousand years preparing a place for each of us!

Now men, let me ask you that question. Do you love your wife the same way that Christ loved the Church? Are you totally self-sacrificing; joyfully laying down your life to provide for her and your children? Or, do you complain when you simply have to go to work? Jesus was able to endure the cross because He had the promise of the Bride in front of Him. He was able to bear it gladly because He knew that because of the cross His Bride would be enabled to join Him. Men, we should joyfully provide the needs of our families-in particular to our wives. It should be our pleasure to sacrifice for them knowing that in the end they will be ministered to.

Men, when you get home did you know that you still have obligations to your family? Your time at work is spent to provide for your family in material needs. What about their emotional and spiritual needs? Again, think about the manner in which Jesus ministered to people. He didn’t just feed the hungry with fish and bread. He also spent time teaching and explaining the Scriptures to them. When an individual needed a special moment with the master He took that time and talked to him or her. Husbands, your wives have spent eight to ten hours at home with very little interaction among adults. Your wife needs adult conversation! You have been among friends and coworkers all day and probably took breaks with discussions and relaxation. Your wife and children need you when you get home. Just as Jesus covered every area of need in His flock it is your duty to do so with your wife and children.
Look now at verse twenty-six. Paul said that Jesus did this so that He might sanctify us and cleanse us with the washing of the water by the Word. Husbands, your job includes making sure your family attends church. Meeting their needs includes spiritual aspects as the head of the home and it means that you daily pray for them.  Do you often pray with your family and bless them? When is the last time that you sat down and taught your family the Bible? If this makes you uncomfortable it could be because you don’t know the Bible. It’s probably time that you educated yourself so that you can educate them. It is your job to teach them the Word.

What about the sanctification of your family in this verse? Jesus did everything that He did so that His Church would be set apart from every group in mankind. Christians are truly sanctified (set apart as special) as there are no religions in history where the members actually have a personal relationship with the God they serve. Your family should also be known for being set apart and different. The community that you live in should recognize that your family is not like the others. Now, there are families that are renown for being ungodly but obviously that is not what I am implying. Your family should be known for being shining examples of Godly behavior and righteous living. Each member should be known throughout the community as children of God and their lives should be examples of what the Bible teaches. Husbands, this is your responsibility. Verse twenty-seven says that He does this so that He might present it to Himself a glorious church without spot or wrinkle. Men, when you have done your job your family will all come to the saving knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It will be your pleasure to lead them into the Truth of the Word and pray with them.

Verse twenty-eight says that men out to love their wives as their own bodies. Paul goes further in the following verse by saying that no man ever yet hated his own body. It is normal for us to take care of our own body. When we are hungry it is our great pleasure to eat. When we are tired it is our pleasure to rest. Only a person who is mentally sick would want to harm or abuse themselves. Husbands, when the Pastor joined you and your wife in matrimony there was a spiritual bonding that took place that you might not have recognized. You were there when the physical union was consummated and it was probably all you were aware of. But the spiritual union of a man and woman is even more joyous than the physical. You became one in flesh but also one in spirit. This is why Paul said that Christians should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2nd Cor.6:14). It’s always a shock when men learn that by hurting their wives they hurt themselves. When you say a derogatory comment to her it breaks her heart. That little stab always comes back to you. Neglecting her means neglecting part of your own body. Taking sides against her in a room full of people makes you look foolish. Hurting her is hurting yourself.

Last week I covered the wife’s role and we saw that it mostly talked about submitting to her own husband. Husbands, are you the kind of man that she can willingly submit to? Are you the kind of man that she knows has nothing but her best interests and those of her children? If you truly love her as your own body do you provide everything that she needs? When you get home from a day at work do you find out what she needs then? It might be just conversation but she does have needs. When you get in the car do you open the door for her? When there is only enough ice-cream for one bowl do you eat it or give it to her? You may smile when I ask that but I am amazed at the stinginess of a lot of men. In their minds they love their wives so much that they would stand in front of a gunman and take the bullet instead of letting their wife get shot. But in reality they won’t even take out the garbage because there is some sports event taking place! I sometimes say that before a man can marry my daughter he has to prove he can go to the store and buy feminine products and birth-control without putting anything else in their cart. Men, if we love our wives we are willing to take the bullet and take the garbage out.

Verse thirty reminds us that we are part of Christ, being His body. When we hurt, He does too. He knows our need and provides for it. Now, please pay attention to verse thirty-one. Paul said that “for this cause” will a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. I personally believe that a lot of men have never left their father and mother and that their marriages are suffering because of it. I am not saying that once you marry that you can never have a relationship with your parents. But, I have seen marriages where the man never cut the cord and his father or mother continued to treat him like a little boy instead of letting him be the head of a house. Husbands, the minister pronounced you a man in the wedding ceremony (I now pronounce you man and wife). You have the duty to lead your family.

The last two verses complete this section and remind us of the beautiful picture of marriage and the way it is supposed to be the mirror of Christ and the Church. If our marriages are functioning properly the world will see the Gospel portrayed in them. Men, have you considered Christ and what He sacrificed? He gave up everything to take the role of Husband to His Bride. In pre-marriage counseling I tell every man that according to the Bible when he marries his life is over. I want to emphasize the self-sacrificing life that marriage is supposed to be. Some people erroneously teach that marriage is fifty-fifty; meaning that each person gives a little. Marriage is one hundred-one hundred as both husband and wife must give it their all or it will not survive.

Next week I want to continue with some scripture on the husbands role as leader. I pray that you will come again and follow along. Below is the link to the live broadcast on Sunday morning and the recorded messages in case you want to join live or go back to another one in the series.

May God Bless you and your family!

Prayer-Father, I pray that men everywhere would see areas where they are not completely giving their family what is needed. May they be granted wisdom to know, and strength to accomplish the tasks that they have. Give them a heart for their wives and children. Let them see clearly the condition of their flock so that they might better take care of their needs.

In Jesus’ Name-Amen

Follow us along live Sunday Morning at 10:45 CST here



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Philippians 3:13-14 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Filed under: God's Plan for the Happy Home, Messages

One Response to "God’s Plan for a Happy Home-Part III"

  1. cameron says:

    I am sharing your article … beautiful and to the point.

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