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Shepherds Hill Homestead » God's Plan for the Happy Home, Messages » God’s Plan for a Happy Home—Part One

God’s Plan for a Happy Home—Part One

I was asked recently to talk about the home and family. The world is quickly trying to redefine the word “family” to be any two or more people living together. God ordained it thousands of years ago as one man and one woman producing Godly offspring.  Our world is desperately in need of reformation for the family. The survival of mankind is dependant on a properly functioning home unit. When homes are out of order it causes society to be out of order.

Let me make one disclaimer before I begin. There will be many who scoff at what I’m going to share. My disclaimer is this: I am speaking from the perspective as a Christian who believes that God Almighty created us in His image and that He did it with a Divine purpose in mind. If you are not a Christian these rules still apply. You may not believe in Him but He created you and since He did He knows how to bring joy and purpose to your life. All of mankind is searching for that purpose. If you’ve tried to find your purpose and haven’t why not try God? You might think that I’m biased toward the Bible and you’d be correct. I have found that it answered my search for happiness.

I want to go through several passages but today lets begin in the book of Proverbs. Solomon is said to be the wisest man who ever lived. We can find much depth in his wisdom that he received from God. Ironically, he did not come from a happy family. His father was the king and had several wives. His half brothers wanted to fight him for the throne once his father was dead. Solomon himself married multiple wives that lead him astray. In fact, we see many families written about in God’s Word that were dysfunctional. Instead of recording Ozzie and Harriet (a television family of the 1950’s that seemed to have it all together) God has instead given us real families to know that we can have problems and still survive. Angie and I spent some time trying to find a family in the Bible that didn’t have problems. (We’re still looking!)

Television families always seem to work out their problems in thirty minutes or less. That can make it frustrating in reality to find that some family issues take years to solve. When we don’t immediately find solutions it can lead us to give up before the victory. In every situation God has an answer. A properly functioning home from the time a family forms will lead to many years of peace and children who grow up to have their own stable families.

In Proverbs chapter twenty four  and verses three and four Solomon gives us the outline for the home. It takes three things for a great home to be created. First, in verse three it takes wisdom. Wisdom comes from God and God alone. In James 1:5 we find that if any lacks wisdom (which is all of us at times) we are to ask God for it. There have been times when I truly didn’t have an answer regarding a problem and I was at the end of my rope. When I finally humbled myself and ask God I received the answer through various sources. Sometimes it was through the Word of God. At other times it was wisdom from men of God. Solomon said that through wisdom is a house built. The Hebrew for the word “built” here means to be built. But, that word can also mean to be rebuilt! That means that if you have a home where you and your wife have been struggling for years and your children are rebellious and pulling your family apart you have hope of rebuilding. It’s not too late; you just need to ask for God’s wisdom.

His wisdom is not as man’s wisdom. His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9) but at times we may seem to know best. Let me save you a lot of grief now by saying that I’ve tried it without God and it never works. Sometimes our wisdom is so far from being right that we see God’s way as ridiculous. We scoff at what the Bible says and try every method known to man. We continue to suffer and then in humility we try God’s way as a last resort. We are shocked to find that it was what we needed all along. Truly, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Pro 9:10)! Through His wisdom is our house built or rebuilt.

The second thing you need for a properly functioning home is understanding. We need understanding before our homes can be established. The word established here comes from the Hebrew word for fixed, stable, firmly set in place, permanent, settled or ready. We need to understand things in our family. Most of us that came from good homes probably thought there were no problems in them. We more than likely believed that our parents had it all together and therefore we believed that we would naturally understand what to do when we became husbands, wives and parents. We somehow believe that if we were raised up and turned out good then we surely have the capacity in ourselves to be good husbands or wives and to raise our children properly. Nothing could be further from the truth. That kind of logic is like saying that I had brain surgery once so I am now qualified to do it to you. Just because something happened to us does not make us qualified to do it to someone else!

As a teenager I thought I understood girls. But as a young married man I did not understand my wife. In fact, the more years that went by the less I understood. There were things that she did and said that puzzled me. She functioned differently than me and I could not understand why. When I had my first child I got in a groove of raising him. I adjusted to being a father and as he grew I adapted. Then, the second child arrived and she was in a different groove. With each of my six children I must say that they are six unique and different personalities. None of them responded the same to teaching, discipline or the way they needed to be loved. Again, I needed God to help me.

In Psalm 111:10 it says that those that follow God’s commandments have good understanding. When it comes to understanding you need to do more than pray and ask God like you did for wisdom. You need to study. We must study to get understanding. For some of you this will make you sigh heavily but I must be honest with you. You are going to have to read. That’s right-studying takes reading. I’m sure you thought that once you finished school your reading days were over. You may even be waiting for the video to come out on how to understand your wife, husband or your children. Don’t wait for it-read the books available ;-).

There are many good Christian books available on families and the differences of each member. As an example I read a book many years ago called “What Wives Wish their Husbands Knew about Women”. When I read it I began to understand things about my wife that I never could figure out. There are many other good books that will help you but you need to study something besides books. You need to study each other. As a husband I am still trying to discover the mysteries of my wife. She has things about her that still intrigue me to this day. Instead of letting differences bother us we need to let them be a challenge to us. Just this afternoon around the kitchen table I listened to several women discuss allergies with children. As one lady talked about her child showing symptoms of irregular behavior all of the ladies talked about what might be causing it. There was a definite attitude for fixing the problem instead of getting mad because of the child’s outbursts. Do we have the same love for our family members? When a man comes home from work in a grumpy mood do we get mad or try to find out what causes it? If our wives cry every time the bills come due do we get mad or stop to think about why this happens? We need understanding to establish our homes.

The third thing God says we need for a happy home is knowledge. Knowledge here means perception, skill or discernment. It is the application of understanding and the use of wisdom. When I was in high school I spent four years taking electronics at the local vocational school. When I finished that I spent two more years in a specialized technical school on the same thing but at a deeper level. I had all of that training to help in my career as an electronic technician. When I got my first job in electronics I really discovered how weak I was as a technician. With time my troubleshooting got easier and I was able to think more logically about how to break down problems. We must apply knowledge to our families for them to function properly. Just knowing something without using it and being skilled in it is a waste.

Right now in my area bow hunting season for deer has begun. Those with the desire to bring in a deer have not only purchased a bow and arrows but have also spent much time before the season began preparing. They have stood for hours shooting at targets and sighted in their equipment. They have scouted out the place they intend to hunt looking for tracks and other signs of deer. They have read books about the subject and discussed it with others who have had success in bringing home the game. Let me ask you this: have we spent that much preparation in getting our families in order? What if each man spent time reading about how to understand women before he ever courted his future wife? What if every woman studied how to raise children and learned about behavioral issues before she ever had them? Wouldn’t that be more productive than finding out our families were falling apart and struggling to bring them back together?

Angie and I made some drastic life changes some years back to pull our family back to God. We basically started all over with God and rededicated ourselves to Him. We threw out what He revealed was wrong and spent time as a group in discussions and seeking His will for our lives. We have never regretted anything God asked us to do and everything He lead us in made all the difference in binding our family together tightly. Is our family perfect with no problems or struggles? Of course not, but we have seen the difference in what has happened.

What does this Proverb say is the result of applying wisdom, understanding and knowledge? Every room will be filled with precious and pleasant riches! The word precious means valuable and the word pleasant means musical. It implies harmony in spite of differences and beautiful music in every area of our lives. I don’t know about you, but that is definitely what I want!

I intend to continue next week with more scriptures on the family as there are many more verses that we need to look at. Until then, may God richly bless you!

Prayer-Father, I pray for families today that are struggling to stay together. The enemy would like nothing more than to break up families and destroy individual lives. May You give them wisdom, understanding and knowledge as they study Your Word and as they seek to understand each other. Give us humility so that we may admit our weaknesses. May you send help to those who do not know which way to turn.

In Jesus’ Name-Amen

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Proverbs 24:3Through wisdom is an house builded;
and by understanding it is established:
4 and by knowledge shall the chambers be filled
with all precious and pleasant riches.


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Philippians 3:13-14 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Filed under: God's Plan for the Happy Home, Messages

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