Shepherds Hill Homestead » Bible Study, Plain Lifestyle, Proverbs 31 » Proverbs 31:23
Proverbs 31:23
“Her husband is known in the gates,
when he sitteth among the elders of the land.”
The word Husband is translated from Hebrew as:
Strong’s H1167 – ba`al
- 1) owner, husband, lord
- a) owner
- b) a husband
- c) citizens, inhabitants
- d) rulers, lords
- e) (noun of relationship used to characterise – ie, master of dreams)
- f) lord (used of foreign gods)
I prayed about whether or not to focus on this word in this verse and felt the Lord urging me to do so.
This may ruffle a few feathers but this is the Word of God and the study of the words within the WORD is important. We cannot throw out passages just because they might cause a bit of stirring in our lives and this word is one of those. I want to encourage you to not throw up your hands and say, “well, this is not what I thought it meant” or “there is no way that it means that!”. Sisters, we must realize that HIS ways are above our ways and HIS thoughts are above our thoughts. The plan that Father God designed and established at the beginning of time is perfect and for our good in EVERY way. We must remember that nothing in the Word of God is there by accident nor is it misplaced. With that in mind, let’s proceed.
We can see that the word Husband in this passage is clearly more than just a companion. Webster’s Dictionary defines husband:
1. (noun) husband
the male head of a household; one who orders the economy of a family
2. (noun) husband
a cultivator; a tiller; a husbandman
3. (noun) husband
one who manages or directs with prudence and economy; a frugal person; an economist
It is interesting what the modern dictionary leaves out. But of course, our interest is not in the modern word – we are studying the Word of God which does not change from generation to generation. His Word stands the test of time as do His concepts and intentions. Notice the first word in the definition is “owner”. Hmmmmm. I suppose the majority of women would revolt at that concept. But why? Why do we shun so strongly the idea that our husband is our owner. Is it because that would render us under His control? We would no longer have the possibility of being the authority in the marriage. Uhhhh YES!!! But the word truly brings so much more to the concept – look at “e” Master of Dreams! I like that. Paul is the master of my dreams – he is!!! There is so much about this modern life that has contorted our idea of husband and wife and this relationship is so pivotal to all of society that we must get it right.
Sixty-nine times in the Old Testament Hebrew, the word husband is translated thus:
Strong’s H376 – ‘iysh
- 1) man
- a) man, male (in contrast to woman, female)
- b) husband
- c) human being, person (in contrast to God)
- d) servant
- e) mankind
- f) champion
- g) great man
This particular word is used in such scriptures as:
Genesis 3:16 “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”
Genesis 16:3 “And Sarai Abram’s wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife.”
We see the word “servant” being used in this definition, don’t we? But you know, I have seen many, many marriages where the man has truly become the servant to his wife’s wishes and the family is in shambles. When a woman rules the home, there is no way that the family can function properly. Now I am not talking about a family where the husband is gone or incapacitated for some reason. Obviously there are extenuating circumstances. But we cannot choose those circumstances because we think our husband is foolish or not as understanding as we like. You cannot usurp his authority in the Eyes of God just because you think you are smarter than him. And let me say that most men will give up their authority is pressured.
Let’s talk for a minute about a family where the husband is not born again. Perhaps he is abusive or even against God. These situations take a great deal of prayer and understanding. I do not believe that any woman should continue to live with a man who is physically abusing her or her children. She needs to immediately get to a place of safety and seek help and guidance for what to do next. That being said, there are other types of abuse and that need to be dealt with on an individual basis. Some women feel abused because their husband goes hunting every weekend. I agree that this is a truly dissatisfying situation but this is not abuse. It does not allow a woman to turn on her husband and begin to control the family because she is feeling slighted or insulted because he doesn’t chose to be at home. There is much more to it than that and a Godly woman needs to seek the Face of God and allow Him to show her what she can do to try to regain her husband. The same goes for anything that takes the husband needlessly out of the home.
This past Sunday, the message Paul gave for church “What Are You Hungry For” spoke to the appetites that are developed in our lives and in the lives of our children. Are we feeding those “lusts of the flesh” thinking it is just innocent amusements and past-times but really we are creating a deep crevace for our family to fall into. When a mother enrolls her children in all kinds of out of the home activities, does she realize that this is creating a desire – a need – in this child to have more interest OUTSIDE the home than in it.
Men are the same way. Little boys are encouraged to play sports, go hunting with their Dads, watch television and play video games to keep them quiet when they are inside. Is it any wonder that these little boys grow up and all they want to do is spend their time with these interests. God put in men the desire to provide, to conquer, to possess – it is part of their make-up. When these things are in action in a Godly man things work out correctly in favor of the home. When they are not in balance in his life, just like things in a woman’s life, they become error. Likewise, I do not believe that a woman should be a slave to her husband but a servant – a servant by choice and out of love. There is a tremendous difference.
In Isaiah 54:5 ”For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.”
The definition for the word husband in the scripture above is the same root as our base verse for this study -
Strong’s H1166 – ba`al
- 1) to marry, rule over, possess, own
- 1) to marry, be lord (husband) over
- 2) to rule over
- b) (Niphal) to be married
In the Child of God there is no question that the Lord God Almighty is our owner, our possessor, our ruler. If we struggle with allowing our husband in this earthly role, then we will also struggle with God in the spiritual role. Surrender is the completed action when we are willing to give up control and dominion to another.
As I go back to verse 23, I see something else that peeks my thoughts, ” Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.” It strikes me as odd that this verse is positioned between the two verses that talk about the virtuous woman’s needlework and her ability to produce fine things. Do you see what I mean? Could it be that her abilities and productivity are accounted to him? Is he given a place of respect and honor in part because of what she has done? I think that is most likely. This again bears out the idea that she is in many ways, his own. But I want to jump ahead a bit and remind ourselves that while he is honored and respected because of all that she is and does, she in turn is honored and praised and respected – verses 28 – 31. Of course we will examine these verses more as we get to them.
We see this example clearly echoed in the New Testament, when Jesus talked about bringing Glory to the Father! Likewise The Bride of Christ – the Church – is to bring Glory to the Son – Christ! We, wives, are to bring honor to our husband. Father God is the King of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is the Lord over his Bride – the Church. A Husband is the Lord over His wife – and the two become one and are both under the Lordship of Jesus Christ! Now we can kick against the goad in this and deny the truth of it. As women in a modern age we can call this concept barbarian and refuse it. But truth is truth and there is no question that the family has become woefully out of balance in this modern time – in the secular world as well as in the church.
Sisters, this is deep water and we have the choice to drown in it or to ride upon it. To allow this to take us to glorious places in our lives. God does nothing to harm nor diminsh us. He desires to bless us in every way and I believe that if we can get ahold of this concept and truly walk in it, we will experience tremendous fruit and joy in our homes like never before!
Written by Angelia
"It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him." Lamentations 3:22-24
Filed under: Bible Study, Plain Lifestyle, Proverbs 31
9 Responses to "Proverbs 31:23"
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Oh Angie…this just SCREAMED out to me! I need to share something that can happen when we don’t listen and obey His rules.
4 years ago we (I) wanted to move so we (I) hired a real estate friend to market the house. I was going to make this happen. We got a low ball offer and I remember being soooo arrogant with the other real estate guy…telling him we (I) didn’t have to sell the house so we (I) weren’t going to take his offensive offer! No other offers came in. Skip ahead to 3 months ago…yup, we had to sell the house to stay afloat financially. After 4 years of upgrades and 10′s of thousands of dollars we received one offer and can you guess what the amount was? Oh I can hear the laughter…yup, the exact amount of the first offensive offer. Needless to say, we lost our shirt except for one cuff. lol I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS LESSON! It was not my place to be in charge! Never again!!
Love to you
Cath
Bless your heart, Cath!!! That was a hard lesson I know but Praise the Lord for being able to trust Him in it all. He is so merciful!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is such a hard lesson to learn…as girls and women in this day, and as for me being raised by a “career” woman, I learned I had to do for myself…I had to stop doing so much for everyone else…My mother to this day said my husband abuses me because I “serve” him. I don’t feel abused. My mother has never understood my NEED, yes NEED to serve (help) others. When I tried to put myself first, it 1)did not feel right, and 2)especially in the case of my wonderful husband, just did not work. When we love and serve we do so out of faith, not because we are told to, but because we want to be obediant. I finally realized that for me obediance to God brings peace in a way that is indescribable. There is nothing that works more than doing for my husband … especially when I get a thankyou babe, I appreciate it… Satan will use our willingness to serve our husbands and try to throw a monkey wrench in it by making us (me) feel like I’m not appreciated when my husband doesn’t say anything…I know this…I see it time and again with myself…I just have to continue to pray against it.
Thank you Heather for sharing this! You are absolutely speaking my heart. What a tremendous blessing it is to serve our husbands!!! Love you -
I love, love, love this lesson! It is one I agree with whole heartedly and have for a good many years. I did not always believe this way. I remember in school how we were urged and pushed to ‘take control’ of our own lives, don’t be one of those silly women who ‘depend on a man’ for their happiness…etc….. Even my own mom pushed it. My gut told me my place was at home all the while I felt I had to find a career because I’d be a failure if I didn’t. After all, teachers and school counselors know what their talking about, right? Ha
I can’t praise God enough for sticking with me until I got brave enough to go against the flow (and everyones negative comments) and do what I knew was the right thing. I’ve lived many years being the odd ball wife of my husband. While everyone elses wive’s have careers I have been the only one (almost entirely) who stayed home and served my family. There have been many comments over the years from Don’s co-workers or their wives, even my own friends and mom, that I’ve had to over look, but in the end it always came back to them telling Don how ‘lucky’ he is to have a wife who cooks him such good meals or does this or that for him, etc… They see the food I send him each night, they benefit from “Don’s wife being at home” when I cook a meal to send for all of Don’s co-workers or some special treat when Don asks me to do so. They hear from Don various things that happen in our home or family that make us so different. Not in a bragging way but just in every day conversations. Over time they come to see what things are missing from their own marital relationships with a modern working wife, who in many cases wears the pants in the family. Over the years there have been many comments or jokes about Don and I and my being home but I believe deep down they really know that it is the way things are supposed to be. The co-workers who have made the most fun of us eventually make little comments to Don about how they wish their wife would cook at home, or didn’t spend so much money (enjoy shopping so much), or would stop leaving all of the care of the children to them every night and weekend. That they wish things would be more like how Don’s got it.
Now I’m not saying that because there is some great thing about me or even us as a couple. Not at all!! I have so many flaws all my own. This is just the reality we have lived for many years. For a long time I couldn’t help feeling bad from the comments. Like I wasn’t good enough or something, or like people thought I was not very smart because I was ‘just a housewife’. It was only when they began telling Don how fortunate he is to have such an old fashioned wife that I began to see that men still know what husband/wife roles should be. I just don’t think they know how to achieve it now days. At this point their momma’s and maybe even grandma’s have lived the life of a Woman’s Lib mentality so they were raised with it and don’t know better. Its become a generational curse in my opinion. Society pushes it from every direction, except for that inner man who recognizes the truth when they see it when those blinders are temporarily shifted.
Is our marriage perfect? No. Its a daily work in progress. But its much easier to do that work when we know the blue print God has written out for us on the proper roles of a husband and wife. We know that Gods plan is perfect. Our fleshly plan is too flawed to ever work. True joy comes from following the directions God has written out for us all. I’ve heard many times in my life that people wish there were some sort of life manual or a manual for raising babies, things like that. Well there is!!! Its called the Bible! And what a precious manual it is! Every answer to every question can be found there if we’ll just seek it out!
It is an honor to serve my husband. It is not abuse! There are some pretty big burdens a husband takes upon his shoulders that a wife does not have to bear. He daily goes out into this ungodly world to work for his family, to provide for them, taking on the responsibility of meeting the needs for a whole family of people , to protect them, to teach them, and guide them. He is accountable to God for how he does all of these things. Mens bodies are created to perform certain functions (kinds of work) a womans body is not. Men are created with different emotional states than women because there are things women just are not wired to do or handle emotionally. Just as women are built to be more nurturing and tender hearted, because our roles are different! Women are better at certain tasks because we are created to perform them in the course of taking care of our families or home. There is no way I as a woman can do all of those things a man does! Nor should I want to. It is not my given place. I have different responsibilities. It is my job to support him in these things he is supposed to do. It is my God given responsibility to take care of things at home so that he is free to go do those other things without thought or worry about what does need to be done at home. I’m a firm believer in gender roles and that is how we live. Our daughters are being taught Gods intentions for their lives as women, our son is being taught the God given roles of men. Which by the way, if you notice small children already have these roles engrained in them from the beginning. It comes out in them naturally. Its only when people teach them differently or encourage them in another direction that their idea of things change. Oh, I could go on and on on this topic. It is one that has very near my heart for years! But I’ll stop and leave you with a whole hearted…AMEN!!! on this one!
Amen! Amen! Amen!
Wooooo!!!! Amen right back to ya, Shellie!!!!! I feel like we just had church!
Hi Angie,
I have been so blessed by the study you have been going through on Proverbs 31. I teach a bible study on wed nights for the ladies at my church and we have been studying the virtuous woman for the past 9 weeks! There is so much to chew on and digest into each and every verse, we take a whole hour just to get through one verse. We are taking our time and savoring the verses and letting them sink into our lives and our walk with the Lord. I am almost caught up to where you left off on verse 23. Will you be continuing the proverbs 31 with verse 24? We are taking a thanksgiving break and will gather together again the week after thanksgiving. Praise the Lord for giving you such wisdom to share.
Hi Karen – I agree totally – there is so much meat in each and every verse. Yes, verse 24 is almost done and should be on today.
I have been so blessed by this. I am little behind on your study so I am doing catch up. I appreciate so much you speaking about the role of the husband and God’s ordained plan for Him to be the head of the home. There is so much safety if wives would choose to trust God and let their husbands lead as God has commanded that they should. Thanks again Angie…I just love this!