Who’s Your Friend?

            Welcome to the weekly message from Shepherd’s Hill. We have some big news coming in the next few weeks so please check back in with us occasionally to find out what it is! I think you will like what is happening. Today’s message comes from some recent discussion I overheard between some people. It has to do with friendship and Christianity.

            There is a lot of division in certain groups of the church today and I have long studied why it happens. Some denominations believe one doctrine and some another. With some doctrines being polar opposite it makes me wonder how that can be. After all, we read the same Bible, right? If we are reading the same Bible and coming up with different deductions it doesn’t make sense. After years of thought and confusion on the matter I have realized two reasons that people don’t agree. The first one is that one person is not born-again and therefore does not have the benefit of the Holy Spirit to help them understand scripture. The second reason is that one reader (or both) have NOT read all associated verses in the Bible and therefore have a view on doctrine that is one sided. Let me explain.

            There are some people who are New Testament only. They believe that the Old Testament is not to be studied anymore. One example of a doctrine that comes from only reading the New Testament is singing worship songs without musical instruments.  Since there are no musical instruments listed as being used in the New Testament some people only sing acapella.  People who focus on Old Testament scriptures seem to favor the law and following the original text. These are the ones who worship on Saturday and might be strict in their belief on eating certain foods. I have brought you around the back way to make a point here. If you don’t use the entire Bible you can have a one-sided view of the Church.

            As I observe Christians and their choices of friends I hear some talk about who should be our friends. Everyone likes friends and it makes us feel good to have a lot. I sometimes lurk around in Facebook and see that there are people who have several thousand people listed as their friends. As a former youth pastor I watched young Christians who chose poorly and were lead astray. I am going to give you what the Bible says today in a balanced way-Old and New Testament.

            Let’s start with the Old Testament. God gave His people strict instructions to not associate with the non-Jewish. Look at Exodus chapter 23. In verse 27 God toldIsraelthat He would separate them from their enemies little by little.  He said that they were to not make a covenant with them or their Gods (v32). In the next verse He said that they were not to live in the same land. The entire Book of Leviticus is all about howIsraelwas to dress differently, eat differently, work differently, worship differently, and basically live differently than any other people on the planet.  As a set-apart people they had strict commandments to live by. Association with people outsideIsraelwas forbidden. In Joshua 23:6-8 Joshua is about to die and is leavingIsraelwith a strong warning. We sometimes forget that God gives His leaders insight to warn us against danger. God was certainly giving them warning for the big temptation that would eventually lead them astray.

            Joshua said they were to stay away from the other nations who served other gods. He told them to cleave to Jehovah only. Joshua was proven to be a prophet in 1^st Kings 16:34. He certainly had the warning correct, didn’t he?Israel followed other gods and repeatedly fell away. In the last chapter of Joshua we read an encounter between Joshua and God’s people where he calls them to covenant to put away strange gods and devote themselves to God again (v23). AlreadyIsrael had begun to follow the very societies that God wanted them separated from. If you know very much about the history ofIsrael and the Old Testament you know that it was their association with societies around them that always lead them away from God. There are plenty of passages where God commands His people to stay separated from the rest of the world but time won’t permit me to share more.

            Now, let’s look at the New Testament. The New Testament is the New Covenant. It is based on the Blood and Work of Jesus Christ. The Law in the Old Testament is not done away with but rather fulfilled in Christ’s work (Matthew5:17). Instead of a written law on tablets of stone stored in an ark we have the law of God that the Holy Spirit brings to our attention as He lives inside us. That is, the Holy Spirit speaks to us when we encounter decisions, problems, or when God communicates to us. Jesus explained further that the law was deeper than they had understood. In this chapter of Matthew He said “you have heard” and then “but I say”. His explanation of murder, for example was that you didn’t just sin when you actually killed someone but were guilty of it when you hated them (Matt 5:21-22).

            Many people seem to think the New Covenant is more lenient and that a relationship with God is now more of a “do what you want to do”. They believe that as long as you say you are a Christian it makes you one. Let’s see what the New Covenant says about our association with non-Christians. In Matthew 10: 34-37 Jesus made it clear that His doctrine was not “you’re ok, I’m ok”. This is what many are teaching today. They believe that it doesn’t matter which God you follow as long as you are sincere. This separation from family doesn’t exactly sound like everyone can be your friend, does it? Let’s keep going.

            In 1^st Corinthians 15:33 Paul said that evil communications corrupts good manners. This is NOT communications as in speaking and is NOT manners as in “pass the potatoes, please”!  The word translated as communications means companionship in the Greek. The word translated as manners means ethics or character.  Therefore Paul tells us that companions who are base or of a bad nature will corrupt our ethics. As a youth pastor I saw it constantly. Good Christian youth get lead astray by becoming close to non-Christians.

            In 2^nd Corinthians 6:14-18 Paul says that we should not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. Years ago I was counseling a young lady who was about to get married. She insisted that the young man she was madly in love with was not a Christian but that it didn’t matter. I showed her this verse and she told me that it didn’t mean marriage! I can’t think of any closer way two people could be yoked together than marriage. However, I also believe that this verse means other associations as well. Let’s press on.

            In James 4:4-5 it says that friendship with the world is enmity with God. Enmity means an active hatred towards something. In other words, enmity is not just an offense but an act of willful hatred that clearly shows which side you are on. He continued saying that if we are a friend with the world we are the enemy of God. It doesn’t need any interpretation, does it?

            Let’s look at some of the verses that get misinterpreted. Since there are so many people who believe it doesn’t matter who you are friends with there must be some scripture they base this on. How about where Jesus told us to love our enemies (Matt5:44)? If the non-Christians are our enemies shouldn’t we love them too? The answer is, of course, yes. But the definition of love is different between people. I love my enemies and pray for them. But I don’t make them my friends according to the scripture I’ve given above.

  Another favorite scripture that gets misquoted is “judge not”. The lost certainly know that one, don’t they? People who have never opened a Bible in their lives always know it! But the context of that verse in Matthew 7 is not that we should not judge. Rather it is to make sure that if we do judge we hold ourselves to the same or higher standard. Notice that Jesus said with the judgment we judge with we will also be judged. There is an interesting quote that people who live in glass houses should not throw stones. I heard someone condemning a divorced person the other day and the person doing the condemning was divorced! We are to not judge any differently than we are willing to live ourselves. Note a clarifying verse in John 7:24. Here Jesus tells us to not judge by appearance but to judge righteous judgment. If He had meant that no one could judge anyone else He would not have said this.

Now that I think of it, I haven’t really talked about the definition of “friend” have I? In Amos 3:3 it says that two people can’t walk together unless they are in agreement. That is the closest definition I can think of to describe the word friend-two people walking together in agreement. When we are young we have best friends. It is a status we bestow upon someone in our lives to denote their significance with us. It is usually given to a neighbor who is the same age as we are and happen to be free to play. If they have a toy we like or are lucky enough to have tree house there is no doubt that they are our best friend.  As we grow older we find that best friends seem to change from time to time as we discover that we think differently than they do.

As adults we can still be under the delusion that the more friends we have the better person we must be. I imagine that rich people have a lot of friends. That doesn’t make them good people, though. Those on Facebook with thousands of friends can’t possibly keep up with very many and call them friends. They should be called associations. We have many associations in this world. We are supposed to be in the world but not of this world. Jesus sent us into the entire world to preach the Gospel. We can’t preach it unless we go among the lost.

The question usually arises about shunning. Shunning, also called excommunicating, or breaking fellowship is a social separation with someone based on their lack of devotion to righteousness. A clear scripture on this matter is 1^st Corinthians 5:1-13. In this chapter Paul is dealing with a member of the church atCorinth who is in sin. First, Paul names the sin (v1). In Verse three Paul says he has already judged them. Clearly, we can actually judge people if we do it correctly. In this instance a man was having sex with his step-mother. Some things are clearly sin. They are spelled out in the Word.  Second, Paul tells this church to deliver this person over to the devil (v5). This is not some kind of super-spiritual curse that they are to do but the breaking of fellowship with them. We must go through the end of this chapter to understand this process. In verse nine Paul says that he has already told them to not associate with fornicators. Then he clarifies that it is not the fornicators of the world but with the ones inside the church. He specifies that we are not to disassociate ourselves with the sinners of the world but rather the ones who claim Christianity and continue to live in open sin.

Since we are to bring light to the world and people to Christ we cannot disconnect with the world altogether. We should have connection with people in the world who are not living righteous lives by any standard. But if we have someone who is in our lives and claims Christ as Savior and lives in a manner that is obviously against scripture we must  break away from them. What do I mean by obvious? The list is there in verse eleven.

Let me summarize by saying that we are to not have close associations with those who are not of Christ. Close friends have a lot of influence on us. We become like them. We always lower our standards to the level of the lowest one, not the highest. If we are equally yoked with someone we will be accountable to each other. If I stumble, my friend lifts me up. If I get yoked with an unbeliever I will surely fall. Please consider who your real friends are. They play an important role in your life.

            Prayer-Father, I pray that You will make us all aware of people who may be in our lives that we give more credence to than we should. If a non-believer is influencing us we will be lead astray. Help us to choose our friends wisely. If we must be separated from someone give us wisdom to know it and courage to do it.  

In Jesus’ Name–Amen